apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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