In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
