I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I looked at my own cervix.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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