dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
