is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
