You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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