My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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