you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize