WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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