I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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