youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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