Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it's like heaven, but drunker
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Two words: nipple clamps
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