i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
