Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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