she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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