you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize