My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
