So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
