He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
