____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize