I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
