i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just took my morning after pill in the library
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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