I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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