my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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