Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
