definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize