i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
