just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
