just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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