Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you had me at cake vodka
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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