Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
