come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
