if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
