dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
