yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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