Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
