how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
