his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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