But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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