I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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