Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
