I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do vagina's smell?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
