this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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