No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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