Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
