Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
