I want to stick my p in your. b.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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