fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
40s are totally the cure
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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