i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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