hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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