I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
