I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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