You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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