You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
