so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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