stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
