I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
