Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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