I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
